Most people that I know who have successfully quit smoking at some point or other always tend to give me the same reasons:
1.) They’re more concerned about their health
2.) They have family members or friends who are encouraging them (or pushing them) to do so.
3.) Circumstances in their lives are such that quitting is necessary (i.e. you’re having a baby).
All of these examples are legitimate reasons to stop smoking, and I suspect that some of you share at least one of them. The truth of the matter is that you have to have genuine reasons to quit. Like all bad habits, they don’t go away without some motivation, focus, and a little bit of perseverance through the difficult stretches. The entire task of quitting is much more manageable when you have something that makes it all worth it.
The problem that I see people struggle with time and again is that they oftentimes don’t clearly know why they want to stop smoking in the first place. It seems like a silly topic to dwell on, but knowing those reasons, and having them in the forefront of your mind at all times can go a long way towards helping you stop once and for all. To drive this point home, let me give you an example from my own life.
When I graduated from college, I continued to smoke pretty frequently even without the stresses of course work. I hid my habit from pretty much anyone that I cared about: my friends, my family members, my girlfriend, the people at my church, anybody that mattered to me. Without going into too much explicit detail, all of these people discovered my secret and were none too happy about it. Needless to say, it was pretty embarrassing for me.
While being outed was less than ideal, this was amongst my greatest reasons to stop smoking. I now had something that motivated me to quit, through even the toughest times. All of a sudden, the entire task became monumentally easier. If there were ever a point where I struggled, I would only have to think of the alternative if I failed: my friends wouldn’t want to hang with me, my family would be disappointed in me, my girlfriend would leave me (this was probably my greatest motivation of all), and it would be much more difficult to sit in church with a clear conscience.
The point of this little story is to examine how something you truly care about, that you don’t think you could live without, could be jeopardized if you don’t learn how to quit fast. Think about it. We generally give our most herculean efforts in life when we feel that the things closest to our hearts are being threatened. When you get to a point where your smoking habit and the things you love most can’t possibly coexist, you don’t need to look for incentive to quit. You just do it, through any means necessary (if I may quote Malcolm X).
With that, I’d like for you to perform a small exercise that should help you get started. Take some time to jot down the things that matter most to you on a piece of paper. Try to take more than just a few minutes to do this. I really want you to think HARD about it. Do some soul searching. Contemplate the parts of your life that you feel you just can’t do without. It may be your spouse or girlfriend/boyfriend. It may be your kids if you have any. It may be your career. It may be your friends and family. Anything that’s indispensable to your day-to-day life, jot it all down.
When you’re finished, I want you to take some time and think about how smoking clashes with these very important parts of your life. Let’s say you have kids, and they know about your smoking habit. Do you feel that your smoking sets a bad example for them? Do you fear that they may one day take up smoking themselves? Suppose you have a spouse who dislikes the fact that you smoke. Do you feel that your habit may somehow threaten your relationship (long or short-term)? What about a close friend, a sibling, a parent? Does your habit put a strain on any of these relationships?
It doesn’t matter what the angle is, you’re just trying to find some very important aspect of your life that conflicts with your smoking. I know that some of these conflicts may not be painfully obvious at first, but with a little deep thought and soul-searching, I believe you’ll find something that means significantly more to you than a pack of cigarettes. When you find that aspect of your life, take note of it and keep it in mind when you progress through the stages of quitting. This will help you tremendously during the tough times (and they will come). This isn’t to suggest that these reasons are sufficient enough on their own to end your smoking habit, but they can be used as tools in conjunction with other steps that can help you quit and forget.
